Raise your hand if you’ve used teething as an excuse for your kid’s behavior. I’ve been saying it for months, although there hasn’t been a tooth in sight. I remember friends and family saying it for their babies, almost apologetically if a baby would start crying out of nowhere or skip a nap. Teething seems to have become a common explanation among parents for a fussy baby because in truth, a baby could be teething at any moment. Sources vary on when babies start teething, but almost all of them agree that the first tooth can appear anytime in that first year, and there’s no real way of predicting when it will happen.
But I wonder why we are quick to use teething as the blanket excuse for what’s ailing our little ones. We look for justification because many of us parents, especially us Type A parents, are fixers. Our brain looks for a direct problem - solution throughline and once we find it, the dopamine kicks in because we feel like we’ve solved the problem and we can once again feel in control. We blame teething because it’s easier to consider an external factor than to think it’s our fault our kid isn’t happy in that moment. Let’s be honest though, we’re probably wrong.
A few months ago, my son started refusing the bottle. He would take a few sips and turn his head away and cry. We tried everything, changing bottles, bouncing him to distract him to eat, pumping more in case he didn’t like the formula, and he still wasn’t eating like he had been previously. When I Googled “baby refusing bottle”, teething came up as a possible explanation and he seemed to have all the symptoms, so for a few days my husband and I just accepted he was eating less and a tooth was imminent.
Then one morning my son was very cranky and was hardly eating, so I took him to the pediatrician who let me know the issue was not indeed, teething. The baby had silent reflux that was hurting his throat making it painful to eat. A little bit of medicine cleared it up after a few days, but our little man had been hurting.
Besides the elephant of guilt that weighed on my chest for not realizing what was happening, I learned a lesson in that moment. Kids show us what is bothering them, and we have to pay attention and evaluate all our options to get to the bottom of it.
Like all kids, our son grows and changes every week, so I can’t say it’s gotten easier to know what he needs when he’s frustrated, but we’re getting better at considering all the factors and asking for help when we need it. These past few weeks, he’s actually been teething, evidenced by a little nub in his mouth that is inching its way out, and we’re responding to that with all the frozen pacifiers, teethers, and extra cuddles to help us all through.
A weekly roundup of personal tips and helpful finds
How to Sneak More Protein in your Diet: If you’re a breastfeeding mom, or just want to eat more protein, here are 5 clever tips for how to consume up to 120g of protein every day. (The Everygirl).
Biggest Parenting Surprises. An honest listicle of what new parents were not prepared for when baby arrived. I can definitely relate to a few of these! (Buzzfeed).
Baby Book Rec: Stella Luna. This classic, about a bat who lands into a family of birds and discovers you don’t have to be similar to be friends, is celebrating its 25th anniversary.
Cook: Sweet Potato and Roasted Veggie Bowl. I used to make these sheet pan veggie meals often in grad school and recently picked them back up. This one with roasted veggies, chickpeas, and sweet potatoes covered in a tahini sauce is a personal favorite. (Minimalist Baker)
Finally, this Instagram post by @momlifecomics made me chuckle for how true it was.
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Ah that moods of motherhood post is so relatable 😅. Glad you discovered what was wrong. We will always worry over every little thing with our kids I think, we won't always get it right and yes teething is such a common go to for sure