Hey, Mama!
How a fake Princess Diana helped me get over my imposter syndrome.
I was watching The Crown on Netflix the other day, and it was the episode in which young Diana and Charles arrive in Australia for a tour. Diana broke royal protocol and brought baby Prince WIlliam along. As they disembarked the plane, baby William was crying intensely and Diana was forced to hand him over to a nanny on her way to official business. Hearing the baby on TV cry, I had an unexpected, overwhelming reaction. My chest tightened, a bit of nausea swooped in, and I teared up for the mom on TV who had to give her crying child to someone else. That was a new one for me, sympathy TV mom cries. Did my maternal instinct kick in?
They say mothers are born, not made. I don't think I would have had much of a reaction to a crying baby on TV had I watched this on my second day after giving birth.
When I was pregnant, every time someone would say "Hey, mama!" or “You got this, mama!”, I'd inwardly cringe. I didn't feel remotely close to a mama. I felt more like a human incubator about to hatch an egg. In those first few weeks postpartum, I was mostly surviving than thriving. I would hear my son cry and just start to go through the checklist (tired? hungry? dirty diaper?), trying to get him to stop so I can steal a few minutes of rest.
There's no ramp up period for being a mom. One day you're not one, and the next you are. But the day you become one, your body has gone through extreme physical duress and you haven't been given time to recover. And on top of that, you have to take care of a tiny human whose very existence depends on you putting aside your pain and fatigue for the foreseeable future.
Now, four months in, I still don’t fully think I got this, but I’m proud to be my tiny human's mom and I try my best for him. There’s still a lot of trial and error, but experience tells me I’ll eventually figure it out because I’m the right mom for my son. Realizing that moms are made, not born, has helped me be a lot more patient with myself. Like any new skill, my mom instinct didn’t come easily from day one, but continues to grow as I get to know my kid and my new self.
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You are imagining them, but hearing baby’s phantom cries are a real thing.
Do you ever think you hear the baby crying while you’re in the shower, but they’re sound asleep? You’re not alone. It’s a phenomena called phantom cries and it’s a real thing that results from stress and your brain evolving to have greater social cognition and be more sensitive to hearing. Good news is, it goes away eventually, and there are tactics that will reduce it while also lowering your stress, such as going for a walk, stretching, and taking a personal break for a few minutes. Read more here.
A weekly roundup of personal tips and helpful finds
Holiday Fun for less than $5: This list of cheap and easy holiday activities can serve as a guide for how to have low-pressure fun with your little one this season. Making slice and bake cookies is my favorite one. (The Everygirl)
Following: @stephthesommelier on Instagram. A fun account on how to pair wines with various foods. I especially love her wine and dip pairings.
Tummy Time Water Mat: This is our new favorite way to tummy time. The moving fish keeps our son entertained longer than our other mats did.
Listening to: What Now? with Trevor Noah. I consider myself an OG Trevor Noah fan, before he became famous for the Daily Show. His new podcast in which he interviews prominent figures is as insightful as it is funny. His interview with Kerry Washington is not to be missed.
Baby Book: The Night Before Christmas was my favorite Christmas story growing up, and I recently bought this keepsake version so I can start the tradition with my son.
Cook: If you’re like me and not eating nearly enough veggies these days, try this easy and versatile recipe for stuffed spaghetti squash. I only put mozzarella instead of four cheeses in mine and it came out great.
Park Feierback for Delish
This week’s mom win comes to us from Stacy O.
This past week, our sweet little girl (6 weeks old), decided to spread out her night feed to 5 hours! We started implementing a loose bedtime and it seems she is starting to respond to that. This mama greatly appreciate this, although I spent most of the night watching over her to make sure she’s ok!
Each week we’ll feature a mom win from one of our readers. If you have a win you’d like to share, please leave a comment below and we will feature you in an upcoming issue.
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