My Feeding Journey

The ups and downs of feeding a new baby.

Happy Spring! I took a short hiatus to catch up on life and I’m back with a rather hefty topic, all about my breastfeeding/pumping/formula feeding journey. Below I share my personal story that I hope you find helpful or relatable, but every woman’s experience is different and equally great. 

Before giving birth, I wasn’t sure how I would feed my son. I took a couple of virtual breastfeeding prep classes and each time the instructors went into the mechanics of breastfeeding, I was skeptical at best. I just couldn’t believe that my body would produce food to feed my son, so I was preparing to feed the baby in whatever way would be most available to him. 

Cut to a few minutes post-delivery, and I was amazed to find that my body was producing milk and I was able to breastfeed. However, due to some non-harmful unforeseen circumstances, I had to start pumping in the hospital on my second day postpartum while the baby was given formula. I didn’t want this to be the end of my breastfeeding journey, so the nurses wheeled in the fancy hospital pump and gave me strict directions to pump whenever my son ate, every 2-3 hours, to build my supply. I’ve always been a good rule follower, so I went with it and followed the instructions diligently. At the same time, lactation consultants would come in and help my son with latching so he can be ready when I was ready to breastfeed him. By the time we got home though, I felt we still hadn’t gotten the hang of latching and I was starting to get comfortable pumping. 

As a type A personality, I saw pumping as a solution to all my problems. I could set my own schedule, see exactly how much my baby was eating, and not have to be the only one to feed him. Plus, all the momfluencers on social media assured me I’d get full bottles with each pump so I’ll have a freezer full of milk in no time! I had no idea what I was getting myself into. 

It turns out, there was no freezer stash in my future. To establish a “just enough” supply, I pumped round the clock, every 3 hours for 20-30 minutes each time. I had a unique alarm set for every 3 hours, and I’m pretty sure I will always have a Pavlovian cringe whenever I hear that chime. My body continued to take better to pumping than it did breastfeeding though, so I kept going. 

Living your life in 3-hour increments takes a mental toll. I would wake up from nightmares that I slept through my 2am alarm and lost my supply. It was exhausting coordinating all my appointments, meals, and visits around my pumping schedule, or needing to stay up and pump right after having tended to the baby on his last wake-up. I felt guilty that I was “leaving” my kid to pump even though the reason I was going was for him. And the cherry on top, on occasion I’d be in a perfectly happy mood only to start pumping and have a cloud of darkness overwhelm me and turn me into a completely different person for an hour (it turns out, this was D-MER, a not uncommon symptom of breastfeeding).

I likely would have stopped sooner, except that I got used to my routine, much of the hormone swings subsided, and it was gratifying to see my son drink what I was producing. Plus, I started reading Fourth Wing on my Kindle and it made my middle of the night pumping sessions (almost) something to look forward to. 

Around 4 months, I began what I refer to as the long wean, dropping one pumping session a month until I stop. I am now at 3 pumps per day, one before work, one around 2pm, and one before I go to bed, and it no longer feels like a grind. It’s just become a part of my day. My son takes mostly formula at this point, but I am still able to give him a couple of bottles of breastmilk a day and I’m proud of that. For anyone who is struggling at the beginning of the journey and wants to keep going, I say, those first 12 weeks will be the toughest but it will get easier. Get yourself a support group you can text when you need to vent or a support book/TV show/podcast to better pass those pumping minutes. But don’t hurt yourself in the process. There is no right or wrong here. You can breastfeed 14 months and you’ve fed your kid. You can start formula day 1, and you’ve still fed your kid! Do what is best for you and your family and that is all that matters. 

Pumping Pro-Tips

Below are some tips that worked for me in my pumping journey that will hopefully help you. I am not an expert by any means, but I learned a lot of these the hard way, so I’m hoping I can save you some time and angst through my experience. 

• Follow the 120 minute rule: The rule of thumb is to pump for at least 120 minutes a day, at least 20 minutes at a time to maintain your supply, and to make sure you empty your breasts each time. If after 20 minutes you are still expressing milk, keep pumping until after 2 minutes past when you stopped expressing milk to make sure you are fully empty. If you don't empty, you're at risk for clogs, which are not fun!

• Get at least one middle of the night pump in: Your body produces the most prolactin (milk-producing hormone) between 2am and 6am, so aim to get at least one pump in during that time in the first 12 weeks to help build your overall supply. 

• Find your correct flange size. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that most women do not fit into the “standard” size flanges provided by pump manufacturers. When I figured out my correct size, pumping got way more comfortable.

  • Here’s a handy measuring chart from Amazon that helped me find my correct size. 

  • Once you know your size, you can buy different sized flanges on Amazon, such as these for Spectra pumps. 

These are all my personal recommendations, but every woman is different. If you have more questions, I recommend consulting a certified lactation professional to come up with a plan that works best for you. 

P.S.  Don’t believe everything you see on Instagram! This is what a real pumping session looks like.

Average pumping output after 20 minutes

A weekly roundup of personal tips and helpful finds

• My Psychiatrist Recommended Against Breastfeeding. An interesting article from a pediatrician who chose not to breastfeed to protect her mental health. A reminder that breastfeeding can be great, but mom’s mental and physical health is more important. (Slate.com).

• Rewatch: Ugly Betty. I’ve leaned into comfort shows during my pumping sessions, and I recently restarted Ugly Betty on Netflix. It’s such a great show about being comfortable with yourself and it’s also great to see how America Ferrara started and where she is now. 

• Baby Book Rec: Llama Llama, Red Pajama. This is one of my favorite books about a little llama who learns how much his mama llama does for him and that she’s always nearby when he needs her. I recently discovered there’s an entire series of baby llama adventures!

  

• Bake: Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Lactation Cookies. My mom made these for me when I came home from the hospital and they felt like such a treat. I recommend them even if you’re not breastfeeding because they’re hearty and delicious. Makes two dozen and freezes beautifully. (Bunsen Burner Bakery).

  

  Courtesy Of: BunsenBurnerBakery.om

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