The 5th Trimester
Returning to Work after Maternity Leave
Happy new year! The French have a formal term for the start of the new school year, la rentrée. La rentrée is an official cultural period signaling the end of summer and the beginning of a new season for everyone. Students prepare their materials to go back to school and adults come back invigorated from their summer holidays ready to re-enter the workforce.
I am preparing for my own rentrée, back to work after almost 5 months of maternity leave and I am struggling to define my feelings about it. My desire to continue to pursue professional fulfillment and get back to a routine conflicts with my wish to stay home, be the primary teacher (and favorite person) in my son’s life and spend my days taking him on field trips and baking cookies together.
To help me navigate this return, a friend of mine recommended reading The Fifth Trimester: The Working Mom’s Guide to Style, Sanity, and Success after Baby by Lauren Smith Brody. Lauren used to be the Executive Editor of Glamour Magazine and wrote this book using her own experience to normalize the challenges of returning to work after having kids. Lauren frames those first three months back at work as another trimester, a transitional time in which to adjust to your new identity as a working mom. I loved the anecdotes from other executive women, as well as the practical advice to help you fake it ‘til you make it, like getting a confidence boosting haircut, establishing boundaries for pumping, and using the new powers of productivity you’ve gained as a mom to your advantage.
Outside of the practical tips, the stories shared showed me that having mixed feelings about returning to work is perfectly normal. Many of us feel a mix of guilt and excitement, sadness and relief, going back to work after maternity leave and there’s no right way to feel. Fortunately, I also have my own cohort of working mom friends who I can reach out to whenever I need the support. And while I’m both dreading and looking forward to my official first day back at the office, I’ll at least have that fresh haircut to make me look put together no matter how I’m feeling on the inside.
The Kids Will be Alright
Helping assuage my guilt about leaving my son this week is this recent Harvard Study that says whether or not mom works does not have an effect on children’s happiness in adulthood. In fact, “adult daughters of employed moms are more likely themselves to work, are more likely to be supervisors, and are more likely to earn higher wages than the daughters of mothers who stayed at home full time.”
Additionally, during the Covid-19 pandemic, seeing both their parents be employees and parents modeled better gender parity for kids. Read the full article here.
A weekly roundup of personal tips and helpful finds
Dance it out. I rented Taylor’s Swift’s Eras tour on demand and had a blast jamming to the music with my little one, both of us entranced with Taylor. Highly recommend if you’re looking to entertain your kids for 3+ hours.
Reading: NPR released their top 10 picture books for kids in 2023, including some unique titles. My favorite is Beneath, a deeply emotional intelligent story about a shy young child who’s coaxed out from beneath his blanket by his grandfather who helps him realize he’s not alone in his feelings. (NPR)
Who Is Gen Alpha? Babies born between 2010 and 2024 make up Generation Alpha, and are mostly the children of millennials. I enjoyed this quick read on what this generation born after Apple released the iPhone is expected to be like (Axios).
Tidying Up: I found this easy January refresh challenge that I’m following to organize my home this month. Most of the tasks can be condensed into a couple of days if you’re like me and can’t find time for a task a day. (Courtesy of @Anna_luisa_at_home).
Healthy Snack: I got some pomegranates this week and it was unexpectedly satisfying using my hands to sift through the crevices to pull out the arils. Bonus: Pomegranates are in season and the arils make a healthy snack on their own or thrown into a salad.
Cook: Baked Oatmeal. A super easy and filling breakfast recipe. I made this New Year’s Eve Morning and had enough for a few days. I suggest baking them into muffins and freezing a few for later.
Courtesy of Love and Lemons
This week’s mom win is from yours truly. After a few days of trial and error, and lots of rocking, my husband and I successfully transitioned our son to the crib from the bassinet!
Each week we’ll feature a mom win from one of our readers. If you have a win you’d like to share, please leave a comment below and we will feature you in an upcoming issue.
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